Out with the old, in with the new

Too often in live we are bogged down by painful and traumatic experiences. The loss of a loved one, the tragic end of a relationship or friendship, a misunderstanding that led to a missed opportunity, an abrupt end to a job, or a love lost.

The pain that we experience tends to define us, it changes us. Makes us less willing to trust again, to open up again. Before we know it we are in a state of isolation, lamenting what used to be, what would have been, what could have been. The idealized picture we all have in our mind's eye of how our life should be, or should have been.

The problem with this is that by spending all of our time ruminating about the past or dreading the future, we fail to see the opportunities right in front of us, and we miss out on making the best of the time we have left to live. For many of us, letting go is the hardest thing we will ever have to do.

This year, that changes. This year we learn to let go and move on. This year we practice gratitude for what we still have, meditation, prayer, and exercise. There is so much more we were meant to accomplish, so much more we were meant to do. The first step is to be willing to let the past go, and embrace a future we hadn't planned for, but that can be just as beautiful if not more beautiful if we learn to love what we have and let go of the love, attachment, desire and longing we held on to for so long for the past life, that life we wanted that just wasn't meant to be. Whether that means letting a mate go, a vision of the career you would have, or that expectation of how you thought your life was supposed to be "by this age."

Maybe it didn't work out. Maybe you thought you'd be married to that perfect life partner, settled down with kids, a beautiful house, a great job, money saved up for retirement, proudly watching your kids grow, starting and growing your company, making your family proud of all that you've accomplished. Maybe you wanted this all by age 30, 40, 50, 60, etc. Maybe that didn't happen when or how you wanted it to. But life can still be beautiful and worth living.

Step 1 starts with writing some goals down. Take small steps every day, plan out your day, your week, your month, make long-term plans on what you would like to accomplish this year, in the next 3 years, and 5-10 years from now. The further out you try to forecast the harder it will be, and plans can change, but if you make SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals, you will be one step ahead of the version of you that didn't create or follow a plan.

Take time out every day to exercise, eat healthy proportions of whole food, high protein, vegetables, salads and fruit, lower carbs (unless you're a bodybuilder or high endurance athlete). Meditate, pray (or whatever spiritual practice suits you), and spend time with your loved ones. Cut back on all the unhealthy consumption habits, alcohol, caffeine, salty junk foods, sugary drinks and sweets, and toxic social media consumption, give up that Netflix and YouTube binge watching habit. Get outdoors and move your body through space, preferably with friends or family.

Make new friends, let old ones go when it's time to let them go, prune your circle of all that which no longer serves you. I challenge you to audit your life at least 2-4 times a year (or track your progress monthly) and see how you are tracking against your goals. If you do these things your life will be so full that you won't have time to be sad or sit around ruminating about the past or anxious about the future.

I'm not saying all your problems will be solved and your life will be perfect and beautiful, but you'll be armed with all the tools needed to confront life's many challenges with your best foot forward and a brave defiant face. The dark clouds will recede and even when they do come around, you'll be ready to confront the storm, you will be come a far greater storm. A force of nature.

You don't get to decide all of the experiences that happen to you in this life, but you do get to decide how you respond. It's up to you.

Will you say it with me? Let's say it together...

OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW.